2012-A Fecal Oddity
There is stupid, and then there is a different category of stupid called the “2012 Category of Stupid.” It is almost as though Roland Emmerich said, “I can make a movie so-stupid that Michael Bay will think I am an idiot.” Seriously, it is truly that stupid. Emmerich no doubt hides behind the whole, “I am giving the ignorant, stupid masses what they want” crap that so many of the McG’s of the world toss about at the Hollowood (yes, I know how to spell it) coke and key parties, but the truth is that Emmerich demeaned himself and his audience with this effort. Oh sure there is some poorly veiled social commentary but that in no way makes up for the stupidity of this effort. In case you haven’t figured this out yet, I thought this film was incredibly moronic.
The “plot” of 2012 wipes its butt with science in so many ways that it is the stuff of high comedy. I will skip all of that or otherwise you would be reading the longest movie review in history. 2012 takes people’s fear of the future and in particular 2012 and exploits it with a two and a half hour long motion simulator ride without the motion and of course its fit for the entire family. Novelist and part-time limo driver to a shady billionaire, Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), through a series of coincidences learns that the world will be destroyed and sets out to save his family. Curtis learns that high-tech arks are being built and is determined to get his basically worthless family on board. What follows is such amazing stupidity that it is hard to describe. In one of the most absurd and ridiculous sequences of cinema history, Curtis drives his family through the destruction of Los Angeles, avoiding obstacles in a fashion that would draw the scorn of a three year old.
Here is the deal; I could go on and on about what utter garbage this disaster film is but that would truly be a waste of time. Surprisingly, however, I am recommending that you see how little respect Emmerich has for you his audience. You should see 2012-A Fecal Oddity for its comedic value. Had this film been treated as a straight up, slap stick comedy, it could have been fun. The visual effects alone do make the film worth viewing and the unintentional laughs are plentiful to be sure. Yet, the bottom line is that Emmerich and all involved helped lower the film industry another notch with this little diamond.
Story D- (Look out Michael Bay; look out McG, you have some serious competition.)
Acting C (The acting is decent considering the foolishness of the scrip.)
Visuals A (Eye-candy for brain dead zombies.)
Originality/Innovation F (It is quite sad, if not tragic, to see $200 million dollars used in such an unoriginal way)
Enjoyability Grade C+ (The combination of eye candy, unintentional laughs and the desecration of science all add up to make 2012-A Fecal Oddity entertaining despite being morally bankrupt on a variety of levels)
Home Theater/HD Factor A
Overall Grade C- (While this film is most certainly junk; it is also junk might give you a laugh. If nothing else film buffs need to see this film due to its comical pocket lining budget and amazing $700 million dollar plus haul. In a word, 2012-A Fecal Oddity is the film equivalent of slowly down to see a car crash, if you’re into that kind of thing.)
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