Alexander-Stone’s Ego Based Answer to Rings Trilogy is Cinematic Black Death
One of the most over rated directors, probably in the history of cinema, Oliver Stone, has done some films that I thought were decent enough, Alexander is not one of them. Alexander is, when all the BS is stripped away, Stone’s ego shouting, I am better than that The Lord of the Rings guy, watch me make a classy historically based version of The Lord of the Rings. Well, its crap.
Considering the size of the budget in comparison to what is actually on the screen, I would say there were a lot of happy people with a lot of lined pockets, because the money does not translate into the final product. Americans had the wisdom to say no to this movie, however, Alexander did well enough oversees to overcome the movies $150-$170 million dollar budget. That is unfortunate. Its fun to spend other people’s money isn’t it Ollie. I wonder how different this film would have been if Stone would have funded it himself?
This is an simply unwatchable in so many ways. In fact, it is difficult to know where to start. The script is deeply flawed, the pacing is awkward, the scenes often do not flow well, and if you pay attention, you can tell that many of the actors seem to be thinking, “what did I get myself into, oh man.”
The script follows the life of Alexander from boy to giant bully to prodigious serial killer, complete with the massive battles that compose the heart of our modern “bread and circuses” cinema experience. Stone, in his quest to out preform The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and Peter Jackson serves only to exceed the reach of his grasp and embarrass himself. This is sad, while I am not his greatest fan, he has done a few quality films. His perception that the audience wants grandiose battle scenes, they wish to see blood and guts and sex, isn’t as accurate as he and the other self-appoint elite directors might believe.
Further, people rarely say, “hey kids lets go to the movies and get a history lesson.” The flip side of this is to assume that everyone is so very stupid that they only want to be feed the dimmest of scripts that pander to the lowest of IQ. The problem lies in striking the perfect balance, that is when a truly successful movie is produced. Most unfortunately, Stone will learn nothing at all from the failure of Alexander in the US market. He will attribute it to homophobia (Alexander and homosexuality in this film is another review altogether), the current Puritanical leanings of the county or some other such deduction. I am sure he simply said, “ah those more cultured and refined Europeans, they understand my vision.” No, its just everyone in Greece must have went 10 times–I kid.
Other problems abound and I really do not want to give too much attention to this Unintentional Disaster Film or UDF. It is unintentionally one of the funnier movies you will probably see, if you wish to set through all of it, as it is way long. Casting Colin Farrell as Alexander must be some sort of inside joke, because I don’t get it, nor will many other people. Casting Colin Farrell has this tone, which is becoming increasingly pervasive in Hollywood of, “here is your new star to worship whether you like them or not. We said worship!”
More than anything the movie is confusing in places where you can’t afford it, like battle scenes, this movie is no Gladiator, hell its not even Troy. Avoid this one like the black death.
Story F
Acting D+ (Colin Farrell can not carry a movie. He is not a star no matter how they spin it. Don’t fall for it.)
Visuals B-
Originality/Innovation F
Enjoyability Grade D-
Home Theater/HD Factor B- (Alexander’s only value resides in the fact that much of the set design, costuming and battle sequences will look good in high-definition. Just do yourself a favor and turn down the sound.)
Overall Grade F (Just avoid it. Stone, have some dignity, retire.)
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