The Core-A Harmonic Convergence of Annoying
The Core follows in the fine tradition of the Hollywood Intentional Disaster or HID film, not to be confused with the Unintentional Hollywood Disaster film or UHD. Like nearly all of the HID’s The Core follows scientists trying to save the world. Big tradition of this, ask Oppenheimer but I digress. The Core has a somewhat Jules Verne inspired plot, in that the Earth’s core has stopped rotating, which means we all pretty much die, as in all HID’s, and it is up to a group of Smarter Than Einstein Geeks or STEGs to go down there, way down there, and save us all. Aspects of the film are like Armageddon, but at least the key players involved are scientists and not a bunch of rednecks who are turned into astronauts in, what a week?
It is scientist Ed Brazzelton, played to near perfection by Delroy Lindo who has created the necessary piece of science defying equipment necessary to do the job of exploring the core. Virgil is a craft that will allow our fearless crew to pour down into the Earth and jumpstart the core. With what you may ask? Why nuclear weapons silly. Nuclear weapons save mankind in nearly all modern disaster films. Nuclear weapons saved us in Deep Impact, Armageddon (however nothing could save us from Ben Affleck, what the hell is a Affleck anyway? I mean, it sounds like it should be something doesn’t it? Like a part that holds your bumper to another part or something like that. It just sounds like the type of thing some grease covered guy would tell you cost $49.98 with labor. “Your affleck is shot.”) and The Day After. Well, okay not The Day After that is the one exception but the others for sure.
There are cool moments in the film, I will not deny it. When the Earth core slows its spinning, the protective electromagnetic field gives way which allow a nice beam of radiation to fry San Francisco. I don’t have anything against San Francisco mind you, in fact, I would have preferred Paris, but it was still pretty cool. Another nice scene is the crystal cave that the crew of Virgil stop in during their–Journey to the Center of the Earth–if you know what I mean.
I must give The Core one particular nod. They did a good job, by current Hollywood budget madness, with their $80-$100 million dollar budget and in the process nearly destroyed, but ultimately saved the world, ooops I gave away the ending, you’re shocked right? Yeah, believe it or not the heros don’t let the world get obliterated.
Hollywood is going to make HIDs all the time, at least this one is a little different and not completely predictable. So there are some thing to like. Yet there is plenty to not like, such as Hillary Swank who is difficult to watch and look at. Sorry, but the elites in Hollywood keep trying to put her out there as this sexy goddess. Just call her the greatest young actress of our time, blay blay blay, and move on with it okay. Then, of course, there is the traditional “wiping of the ass with science and technology” aspect that all HIDs have in spades. However, The Core does manage not to become a Unintentional Hollywood Disaster, like Cuthroat Island or Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, however, that is not to say that The Core is a masterpiece, it is not. It is simple escapism and in times like these, isn’t that sometimes just what the doctor ordered?
Story C+ (I will give them credit for threatening the earth in a new way. That is always cool.)
Acting C+ (I find Swank a bit on the annoying side as is also the case Aaron Eckhart, so there are some real cast “likeability” issues. Alone they are not truly excruciating but together they achieve a harmonic convergence of annoying.)
Visuals A- (Cities take it on the chin, stuff gets blown to hell, always a good time for all, that’s why the MBA’s and lawyers keep cranking these HIDs out.)
Originality/Innovation B+ (Hey, at least it wasn’t giant space rock or a freaking boat flipping over.)
Enjoyability Grade B (Poor casting decisions really takes some of the fun out of it.)
Home Theater/HD Factor B
Overall Grade B (Lots of problems that some recasting could have done wonders to fix, but there are only so many stars to go around and did you know that if you give a true unknown a break in Hollywood you can pull time in jail, plus they kick you out of your country club(s), which increasingly have more than one token minority member. Progress is so cool...)
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