Here Is What You Need To Know:
Sometimes you are really, really left wondering what in the name of all that is holy, some folks are thinking. That, for all basic purposes sums up BloodRayne: Deliverance. Yes, they actually slapped Deliverance in the title and you know what? Its appropriate, even fitting. If you were lucky to escape the first BloodRayne movie based on the popular video game, well good for you little camper. You are smarter and happier as a result, unfortunately, I had to set through both of these films.
This film is just awful, truly there is almost nothing that can be said in its favor. With the possible exception of the rather hot, but cosmetically sculpted Natassia Malthe who takes over the lead role from Kristanna Loken. As for the facts, this sequel to BloodRayne is set in the Old West for some bizarre reason, but ultimately, you won’t care in the least. But wait, there is good news-another sequel is coming.
What Was Cool:
-Nothing was cool. This movie sucks.
What Was Stupid:
-What was stupid? Oh where to begin. For starters the “script” is a giant joke.
-The casting is mostly miserable. Natassia Malthe is okay, Michael Pare stumbles around the movie looking way too much like a surviving member of The Village People, and most of the supporting cast are dreadful, and like Pare, seem embarrassed and confused. Then, of course, there is the issue of one Chris Coppola, gee I wonder how this guy got his break in the business? It’s a mystery. Regardless, if you want to do a case study in horrible acting, then I guess a BloodRayne: Deliverance rental is a good idea. If you want to know how NOT to act in a movie, independent or otherwise, then just follow Coppola’s lead. Seriously there is no excuse for unleasing this kind of “talent” upon the world. I’ve seen better acting in grade school plays from giant frogs, trees and the like. Arrgggg!
-Forget the bad acting for a moment. Do you like to see children murdered in large numbers for NO REASON whatsoever, other than shock value? Well then, this deplorable piece of crap is perfect for you. Yes, it happens and yes they show it. Truly disgusting garbage. Morally bankrupt.
The Film's Real Genius or Geniuses:
The guy who pushed through the idea of naming this sh*tstorm Deliverance. How immensely appropriate. Deliverance indeed, as you will feel like YOU too have been anally violated in the woods by a redneck after watching this masterpiece-this contribution to American Cinema.
Overlooked Performance/Accomplishment:
The producer that was able to convince Natassia Malthe that she would be a star if she was to get this role.
Story F (Garbage.) Use of Science N/A Acting F (Coppola is so, so, so bad, he brings down the overall score to an F. He needs to stay behind the camera and try and con everyone into thinking he is a genius director. Isn’t that how it is done these days.) Portrayal of Women C (Yes, she kicks ass, but does that matter when the movie is morally anorexic.) Visuals-Visuals and Special Effects F (The visual effects don’t even measure up to many indie shorts I have seen. Major sucking action. This disaster sucks, sucks, sucks.) Visuals-Set Design/Props D Wardrobe/Costumes D Style/Sex Appeal C (Malthe is sexy, I hope she didn’t allow herself to be ravaged by some fat, balding producer just to get a role this bad.) Enjoyability Grade F Home Theater/HD Factor F Gut Check (Level of Studio Executive Guts) F (It’s a sequel,however, it is such a bad movie that maybe it does take some guts to go through with it. Ummm…) Overall Innovation F Overall Grade F
A Little Fact About Cherie:
-I seriously thought I was going to puke watching parts of this film. Now, sometimes that is a good thing when it’s a horror film, however, if its dialog, then its not such a good thing. Parts of this film, stoop to a level rarely seen in a “major release,” or even a direct to video release. This should end Uwe Boll’s filmmaking adventures. Hopefully, he won’t try and beat me up for saying that, who knows maybe he would hit a woman. People, DON’T WATCH THIS FILM and don’t watch the sequel, or god help us, sequels!
