Doom
Here Is What You Need To Know:
I have a shocker for you. Doom is not as bad as I expected. That said it is not fantastic, but it isn't horrible either. For those of you with something that approximates a true existence, Doom is based on an extremely popular video game shooter. The plot of the video game is much like the plot of the film, in that the story serves as an excuse to introduce monsters for you to shoot at. Doom is one of those, “people at the outpost have stopped communicating with us, send in the Marines and find out what the hell happened,” movies. Only this time the Marines are lead by The Rock and they are teleported, a la Stargate, to an outpost on Mars where they find an assortment of horrible monsters straight out of a hell-like dimension.
Original? Not exactly, but the execution is better than expected. Most video game based films are completely horrible and I really mean horrible. Have you seen Bloodrayne or the Super Mario Brother movie? If so, nothing in this film should truly scare you. Viewed from the perspective that video game movies tend to suck, suck, suck, Doom isn't that bad. Viewed as an isolated release, its not that good. Bottom line forgettable, but not totally painful, like much of the straight sex I had in college.
What Was Cool:
-The visual effects, like so many science-fiction films, saves the day. Doom is truly a film that is going to live or die by its overall visual appeal as the story is razor thin.
-There are an abundance of cool weapons, if you are into that sort of thing, which I am. I can appreciate a gun that can blow apart the twisted beasts that populate this particular universe, and my darling so should you.
-The teleportation sequences are nicely done.
-The Rock's character, Sarge, was not as two-dimensional as I had expected.
-Rosamund Pike as Dr. Grimm, what a video game name, is quite good and quite stunning.
What Was Stupid:
-I am not here to list out logic errors, the chronic masturbators all over the web have already done that, but needless to say, those errors are definitely present.
The Film's Real Genius or Geniuses:
-Once more the true geniuses are all those who rolled up their collective sleeves on these effects. Bravo boys and girls to a job well done as the film looks great.
-Let's not forget the prop department for cranking out some nice looking firearms. I know girls are suppose to ignore that sort of thing, but hey I can appreciate the effort that goes into creating a good prop.
Overlooked Performance/Accomplishment:
-The Rock does a good job, given the fact that the script is lacking in the first place. Will he ever when an Academy award? Who knows. Arnold is now the Governor of California, and up until he married that Kennedy woman who saw that coming!?
Story C (Shockingly enough it could have been worse. Doom is passable and in that regard is surprising.)
Use of Science C+ (They touch on some high minded concepts but the whole supernatural aspect leaves me cold.)
Acting C
Portrayal of Women C
Visuals-VFX and Special Effects B+
Visuals-Set Design/Props A
Wardrobe/Costumes A
Style/Sex Appeal B
Enjoyability Grade C+
Home Theater/HD Factor A
Gut Check (Level of Studio Executive Guts) D (Playing it safe by opening the wallet to make a movie out of a popular video game isn't exactly a sign of bravery now is it?)
Overall Innovation B (Some of the visuals have a unique look and tone.)
Overall Grade C+ ( I am as surprised as you are, trust me.)
A Little Fact About Cherie:
Sleepless in Seattle is my favorite movie. No, not really, come on.
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