Silent Hill
Here Is What You Need To Know:
The scariest thing about Silent Hill is how much you will want to scream. Oh its not really very scary at all, no you’ll want to scream out loud due to a unusual mix of irritation, confusion and boredom. Silent Hill has received a great deal of press as being a truly horrible, well, horror movie, and its pretty bad to be sure. However, its not "Alone in the Dark" bad. No Silent Hill, based upon the video games, which I have played, is just lame. Some dummy running around looking for her lost adopted daughter, oh whatever, you will care less about the confusing and muddled plot. Silent Hill does have some very sharp visual and special effects—at points, and that is where the aforementioned irritation comes in. Many of the visuals in Silent Hill border on very good and show some real effort, but many times the effects seem rushed and incomplete. In fact, the effects often look very “video-gamey” which oddly enough is something that is unforgiveable in a movie based on a video game. Big time fans of the video game series will see this one regardless of my two cents, but its really a snore. Not as bad as you have heard folks, but pretty disappointing all the same.
What Was Cool:
-Our heroine Rose plays a fairly strong female lead character and I love that. The eye melting Radha Mitchell plays Rose and does a good job with some obviously silly dialogue and plot points. She is probably wasted in this film.
-Alice Krige plays the leader of an group of religious nutjobs and Silent Hill slams religious zealots pretty hard…I like that as well. But unfortunately its all done in a very heavy handed and crude way. Krige, much like Mitchell, does a good job with the silly script, but her super sexy Borg queen days are long gone I am very, very sad to say.
-Sexy, sexy Deborah Kara Unger makes an appearance in a part that is really too small for her screen presence but I was glad to see her all the same.
-Some of the visual and special effects and set design were very nice. The only problem is that there was so much inconsistency in all of these areas that one couldn’t help but feel like the movie was unfinished and unpolished.
-Perhaps the most shocking aspect to Silent Hill is the unexpectedly great cinematography. This film has some marvelous and beautiful shots that just don’t seem to fit in this otherwise confused mess.
What Was Stupid:
-Oh, I am sad to say people that this film is an ugly one. The script is weak, silly and unfocused. There was some real potential but the script just just plods through the motions and leans on cliches. Apparently, there is going to be a sequel, now that is sad.
-The sea of stupidity that is Silent Hill could fill a ten page review, but I will site just a single example so you get the idea: At one point Rose encounters a group of zombie nurses. Okay, fine. Here is the real problem, the zombie nurses are wearing sexy role-playing nurse outfits, as if they are in a music video. Their faces are monsterous yet they have the time to put on very sexy, tight fitting dominatrix style nurse uniforms and high heels? Seriously? Forget whether or not these men hate women, the real question is do they hate logic?
The Film's Real Genius or Geniuses:
Often there are some beautiful shots and it’s a waste.
Overlooked Performance/Accomplishment:
Oh hum…
Story D+ (Silent Hill is a mess, but for the most part, one can, “sort of, kind of” follow its “plot”.)
Acting C+ (Considering that Mitchell, Krige, Unger and everyone else are dealing with total crap, they do a pretty good job. Whether or not they should have taken these roles, well that is a different story, but we all know how difficult it is for women to find good parts in Hollywood…)
Portrayal of Women B+ (This is really tricky people as the film is just plain stupid, but we do have strong female characters that don’t sit around waiting to have a man save them, so a step in the right direction, I suppose.)
Visuals-Visuals and Special Effects B-
Visuals-Set Design/Props C+
Wardrobe/Costumes B-
Style/Sex Appeal B+
Enjoyability Grade D+
Home Theater/HD Factor C+ (Again, the great cinematography and sporatically cool visuals make this visually interesting at times.)
Gut Check (Level of Studio Executive Guts) F (Silent Hill is just a quick money grab that is 100% dependent upon the name recognition of the video game series. Sad.)
Overall Innovation D (Silent Hill is slightly visually innovative at times.)
Overall Grade D+
A Little Fact About Cherie:
-Dear god do I dig those kinky nurse uniforms, I know its wrong, but who cares?
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