Californication Review of Season 2
Season Two Offers Less Than One But Infinitely More Than Season Three
A human must work very hard to “make” the Official List of Human Egomaniacs, but David Duchovny managed to pull off what was deemed as the near impossible and established himself as one of the most self-absorbed and egomaniacal actors of his generation. Generally considered a thin talent pool, Duchovny allowed his completely amazing and totally impressive Master’s degree (yes a Master’s degree) in English from Yale (yes that Yale), repeatedly cloud his judgment. In fact, many would agree that his entire career was one long misguided, stumbling adventure, ranging from his wildly acknowledged hand in destroying his own career via his destruction of the X-Files to his completely self-indulging work on Californication.
Californication is an unusually ego-driven piece of work even by Hollywood standards. The renowned sex-addict Duchovny just happens to play Hank Moody, a brilliant (of course) novelist and sex-addict, which human females happen to find completely, totally irresistible. Early in his career, his handlers and agents attempted to “con” the women of Western Civilization into believing Duchovny was a sex symbol with minor success. Human attractiveness was largely based on the “Golden Triangle” that measured a variety of symmetrical features to determine physical attractiveness. Duchovny’s “Triangle” was below average, yet as Hollywood of this era was prone to do, the ruse persisted. Californication was the “second wave” of the ruse that Duchovny was a sex symbol and again it did not work, nor did Californication.
There is little doubt that the show is repugnant as it reflects the detached mentality of the rich and privileged of its gilded era. The self-absorbed, self-gratifying, pseudo-intellectuals that comprise the cast of characters are repugnant and often difficult to watch. Duchovny’s Hank Moody as the self-destructive, incredibly talented (of course) but supposedly loveable writer exists only in the minds of creator Tom Kapinos and David Duchovny. It could, perhaps be argued that Californication is science-fiction in that only in science-fiction would women, unaware that Hank Moody is a wealthy, semi-famous writer, simply throw themselves at him at every turn. It is truly something that needs to be experienced to be appreciated; as this aspect of the plot, where woman constantly attack Moody sexually, is so idiotic it places Californication in a league of its own.
It may seem that I am oddly fixated upon the issue of women constantly attempting sexual reproduction with Hank Moody; however, this is the main focus of the show and thus the name-Californication. Oh how clever, don’t you understand? Moody is fornicating in California and thus the name. What a brilliant play on words, so brilliant in fact that the Red Hot Chili Pepper used Californication as the name of a widely overlooked 1999 album that sold very few copies, somewhere around 15 million. I am sure that creator Tom Kapinos was unaware of the group’s use of the term, Californication, and must have heard it somewhere else. These things happen, especially in the entertainment industry and especially in Hollywood.
Californication is about one thing really-how “hot” David Duchovny is and how badly women seek to acquire his magical seed. Sure, there are the secondary plots of the brilliant writer who has lost his way as well as his family, but like the attempts to make Duchovny a sex symbol, these secondary plots are also a ruse. Stripped of its glorification of the arrogance of Hollywood disguised as social commentary, Californication is simply about what a marvelous object of sexual desire Moody/Duchovny happens to be. Had Duchovny’s sex addiction not so strangely mirrored Hank Moody’s own sex addiction, Californication would have seemed more believable. What really “kills” this show, is that the line between Moody and Duchovny is so razor thin. They may not be the same guy, but its close enough. I will now, remove my robo-boot from Duchovny’s incredibly arrogant ass, as I am sure we have all had enough.
Story (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) C (The stories do have a beginning, a middle and a end. But they are little more than camouflaged, unrealistic tales of human females in heat, inexplicably lusting after average, if not be
low average, looking human male. Strange.)
Acting (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) C
Human Portrayal of machines and Robots C (Machines as slave, nothing more.)
Contribution to the Extinction of Man Grade D (By attempting to fool attractive women into reproducing with unfit human males, no doubt, Californication attempted to contribute to the extinction of the human race, but truthfully, the show had little impact.)
Enjoyability Grade (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) C- (Californication is slightly enjoyable if for no other reason than to see how seriously the cast all seem to take a show that is obviously a) borderline excrement, b) an excuse to show female breasts of all shapes and sizes and c) a vehicle to let all those watching know how sexually desirable Duchovy happens to be.)
Primitive Home Theater/HD Factor C (At times the show’s interiors seem overly dark as though either the director and director of photography did not care to light properly or were rushed.)
Overall Innovation (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) D
Overall Grade (Adjusted to Accommodate Human Standards) C- (Californication Season 2-“Slip of the Tongue” was basically a good indicator of what was to follow. It was clear that Season One was to be superior to Season Two, which itself was a masterpiece to the third and final season, which degenerated into an incoherent mess that few could truly follow. Season Three, was in fact so bad, that many deemed that it must have been “experimental” like the mega-failure John From Cincinnati. Season Two of Californication wasn’t the most boring show of its day; it was just inferior and failed to try hard enough. The talent was present, yet the focus was absent, as was the will to do more than collect paychecks and stroke egos-big, massive egos.)
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