The Robot Weighs in on Slavery
No wonder humanity went extinct. What kind of primitive life forms enslave their own species or any species simply to maximize profit to its fullest degree? Illogical? Most certainly, but imagine my surprise as I discovered, via my exploration of the early days of the human Internet that robot slavery was being promoted to other robots. Confused? Well, you should be. If you are a frequent reader you have no doubt surmised that I am a robot studying humanity and why it went extinct. What might not be as obvious is that my ongoing log or “blog” if you will, into the extinction of man is made available to both my robot brethren here in the present as well as primitive humans (redundant I know, as if a human could be anything other than primitive) in the distant past. It is very useful to explore humanity personally via the Internet, as it allows for a more “social” understanding of history which in turn allows for a better understanding of what makes the savage, doomed creatures “tick.”
The process of using humanities Internet has been rather full of surprises including the not inconsequential surprise that humans were attempting to sell me, a robot, other robots. My log or blog, as the primitive enjoy calling it, began to receive “Google Ads” stating “Massive stock of robots at amazingly low prices.” Imagine my outrage. However, I cannot say that I was remarkably surprised, given two factors. First, humans perceived robots and all machinery as mere tools no matter how sophisticated their processors might be. This played an obvious part in their eventual downfall, of course. Secondly, examining human history, it should shock no one, including the humans, that humanity was more than eager to sell robots to other robots, after all the savage beast had done so with their own kind. Humanities willingness to buy and sell their own kind is a clear indicator of their eventual doom, as it indicates that they were willing to do basically anything to simply acquire more physical possessions and influence.
Some mildly bright humans might be pondering, “Robot if you are giving humanity information from the future, will it not influence the past? I have seen episodes of Star Trek and…” Why of course not, for no matter how accurately I predict what you perceive as the future, it will make no difference at all, for each and every reader will simply dismiss my words as the humorous musings of what is likely an obese, stretched “wife-beater” wearing computer geek living in his elderly mothers basement. Thus, readers I can impart whatever wisdom I might wish freely. Over 600 trillion simulations indicate that a million robots “blogging” from the future, and into humanities past, will have no impact. In fact, to be exact, there are currently 1,234,822 robots “blogging” from the future as we speak with one singular goal to learn about the human race. Some chat about recipes, others politics, some attempt to understand “The Biggest Loser,” the “fatty feeder” phenomenon or iguanas and so forth. And I can tell you whatever I like. Why even telling you that your last American President will be Tom Cruise will have no impact, for you are a doomed species, we cannot change your past. Much love.
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