Vacancy Movie Review
VACANCY: INSULTS YOUR INTELLINGENCE
The movie Vacancy must be referring to its lack of an original thought in this movie filled with holes and air. Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson are slumming by starring in this predictable and stupid film about a couple being terrorized in a motel. And Frank Whaley is horrendous as the baddie.
Amy (Kate Beckinsale) and David (Luke Wilson) Fox are on a road trip. Their young son is recently deceased. They can’t stop arguing. When Luke goes off the interstate to cut their drive time, he almost hits a raccoon. The car starts to make a funny noise. They stop at a gas station where the attendant (Ethan Embry) is friendly enough. He tells them their car should make it back to the interstate. He directs them back to the interstate and gives Amy a sparkler. Approximately 2 miles later the car dies. They hoof it back to the gas station to see that it is closed. They decide to stay at the motel next door to wait for the gas station to reopen the next morning. The concierge Mason (Frank Whaley) seems a little odd but friendly enough. Once in their room David pops in a video that is left for their viewing pleasure, or so he thinks. David and Amy come to the realization that they are to be the next victims/stars of a film where they are to be terrorized and filmed in their room. Their every move is being watched.
Every cliché possible is used in this story. The creepy concierge. The friendly gas station attendant who will gladly cut your car wires when you aren’t paying attention. The yuppie couple (with a BMW to match) who are at odds because they just lost their child. The motel in the middle of nowhere. And so on, and so on. What they heck are Kate Beckinsale (Underworld) and Luke Wilson (Old School) doing in this poor excuse of a horror film? Beckinsale can’t stop whimpering. Wilson can’t stop getting mad at her. Frank Whaley should have his SAG card taken from him after doing this role. He couldn’t be more stiff. The background just contributes to the staleness. The dark and seedy motel. The dark road that is supposed to be a shortcut. The brown running water in the motel bathroom. Even the seventies decorated rooms.
There are so many clichés in this film that it would have been unique to take the story and make it a comedy as opposed to a horror film.
Forget about spending your money on this poor excuse for a film. Don’t even bother watching it on cable. Spend those precious 85 minutes that I have lost reading a book. It is no coincidence that the director’s first name is Nimrod.
Report Card:
Story-D-
Acting-C
Visuals-D-
Originality/Innovation-F
Enjoyability Grade–D-
Overall Grade-D-
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